Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories about Restaurants and Food - 1

Restaurants

Diner: Waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig to eat. Waiter: I'll bring you some that is, sir.

Restaurants

Customer: Do you have a sheep's head?
Butcher: No, mam, it's just the way I part my hair.

Restaurants

Diner: Waiter, do you have anymore apple pie?
Waiter: Yes, the chef says that we have lots more. Diner: Well he shouldn't have made so much then.

Restaurants

Waiter, there's a piece of soap in my soup. That's to wash it down with sir.

Restaurants

I've made the chicken soup. That's a relief, I thought it was for us.

Restaurants

Waiter, waiter! There's a slug in my salad I'm very sorry sir, I didn' know that you were a vegetarian.

Restaurants

Diner: Waiter, the crust on this apple pie is very tough. Waiter: That is not the crust, Sir, it is the paper plate.

Restaurants

Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Yes sir, we serve anybody.

Restaurants

Two guys go into a small diner for breakfast, the waitress comes up and asks for their order. The first one says ''I'll have two eggs over easy, toast, and juice.'' ''And I'll have two eggs scrambled, toast, and juice in a clean glass'' says the other. The waitress comes some time later and asks ''...now which of you asked for the clean glass?''

Restaurants

A guy in a restaurant says to the waitress ''I want a cup of coffee without cream.'' The waitress comes back a few minutes later and says ''I'm sorry, but we're all out of cream. Would you mind taking your coffee without milk?''