Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories about Wives - 1

Wives

What do wives and police cars have in common?
They doth make lots of noise to let you know when you've done something wrong.

Wives

When we were first married my wife had a million dollar figure. The trouble is, inflation soon set in.

Wives

When a man gets married how many wives does he have?
Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer.

Wives

A wife is like computer ... after you marry her you find out that: 1) it costs much more than you thought. 2) she is not doing what you thought she would. 3) after a period of time, it is impossible without her. 4) after you have got used to her and found out that you can't do without her, you realize that one is not enough ...

Wives

My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.

Wives

Wife: Shall I give that tramp one of thse cakes that I just baked?
Husband: Why, what harm has he ever done us?

Wives

When we got married I told my wife I wanted to set the world on fire. After three years of being married to her I wanted to set myself on fire.

Wives

My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her - or something like that.

Wives

My wife's a terrific housekeeper. I dirty a plate, she washes it immedi- ately. I'm ready to drop a cigar ash on the floor, she has it picked up before it even drops. The other night, I got up at three a.m. to get a glass of juice. When I came back, the bed already had been made.