Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories about The Police - 1

Police

Did you hear about the detective who was thrown out of the Serious Crime Squad - he was always laughing.

Police

What do you call a crow that joins the police?
A rookie.

Police

How do you join the police force?
Handcuff them together.

Police

How many police officers does it take to break an egg?
None, it ''fell down the stairs''.

Police

A man in jail for a robbery was visited by his wife. ''This is the time of year I'd be planting potatoes in the back garden,'' he said. ''Well, I have no time to dig up the garden,'' replied his wife. ''Don't you worry about that,'' he said. All you'll have to do is plant them just wait and see.'' After she had gone, he wrote her a letter: ''Dear Mary, There is some stuff buried in the back garden that should be passed on to the boys. Can you see to it for me?
Love, Michael.'' The following day, a group of policemen descended on the back garden with spades, dug it all over, found nothing, and went away. The day after that, she planted the potatoes.

Police

A team of detectives arrived at the business executive's New York penthouse apartment and were admitted by the butler. ''Mr. Wilson,'' one told the businessman, ''we have some good news and some bad news about your missing wife.'' ''You'd better give me the bad news first,'' said Mr. Wilson. ''We found your wife floating face down in the East River this afternoon with eight large lobsters clinging to her body.'' ''Oh, my poor wife,'' the man sighed, ''What's the good news?'' ''We're sending her back out in the morning.''

Police

an idiot was picked up by the police on an assault charge. He was placed in an identity lineup with ten other men and the accusing woman was escorted into the room. The idiot jumped forward, and screamed ''That's her! That's her! I'd recognize her anywhere!''

Police

A policeman make the mistake of arresting a judge who went to a fancy dress party dressed as a convict. It just shows that you should not book a judge by his cover.

Police

Ten thousand bars of soap have been stolen from a warehouse. Police say that the thieves made a clean getaway.

Police

Policeman: Can you give me a description of your missing cashier?
Bank Manager: He's about six foot tall and £150,000 short.